In“Claiming an Education” by Adrienne Rich, one of the many ideas that resonated with me was the idea that “responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking … it means learning to respect and use your own brain … It means you do not treat your body as a commodity with which to purchase superficial intimacy or economic security… whom you give your friendship and love are able to respect your mind.” Essentially, she states that by taking responsibility for yourself and your education, you demand respect of others around you because you are not reliant on others to make decisions for you or take care of you. This bold idea is a statement is 100% an indirect attack of continued primitive customs of the Cult of Domesticity that exists in Asian cultures.
Growing up in an Asian household, I was able to experience the inconsiderate ideals of its culture. I would always attest to my parents that my sister and I had very different upbringings (I’m only being two years younger than she is). They always denied this claim other than the fact that they might let me stay out late at night with friends longer than she could (which I don’t agree with either). However, I didn’t understand how to explain to my parents that it wasn’t necessarily the decision making aspect of parenting that was different between raising the both of us. It was actually, the expectations my parents had for my sister and I that were different.
As a male, my parents expect me to obtain an education and soon enough a job to financially support a family of my own. My sister is expected to get an education in order to raise children (and work a job). This picture of the purpose of education painted by domestic Asian culture completely misses the entire point of education: self-cultivation. This culture is so worried about painting a perfect picture about “family” that it wastes the invaluable opportunity of identity-building it provides. In Asian culture, Education is seen as a gateway (to occupations, marriage, etc.) rather than a destination. In reality, education is both a gateway to other destinations and a destination itself. It is a destination at which you find out who you are as a person. However, education is not a gateway to fulfilling outdated domestic roles; it is actually a gateway to realizing your own humanity. As a human being, you have a responsibility to think with your own mind, speak on your behalf, and act in your defense. If you let others perform these, you are dehumanizing yourself as someones belonging, as an object, a possession that is worth less than “its owner”. By performing such acts yourself, you demand respect from others and instill yourself with humanity.
Why is this idea an attack on Asian domestic culture? Because this culture wrongfully emphasizes that a family cultivates one whole identify together. It emphasizes that the female needs its male counterpart and vise versa. In this culture, only through marital ties can you discover your (false sense of) identity and humanity. The gender defined roles serve other people rather than oneself and create dependence. In reality, you don’t need anyone to be purposeful human being. Women are more than capable of being their own “human”. She doesn’t need anyone to work/make money on her behalf. A male is more than enough capable of handling business inside the household.
Only through education can you discover and realize your true identity.
